Tired of the Same Fight, Over and Over?
One of you pushes. One of you pulls away. Some days you feel more like roommates than partners, and talking it through hasn't fixed it.
From Dr. Carol Ann Conrad, EdD, licensed psychologist and certified EFT therapist and supervisor.
2 Methods, 1 Goal
Opens healingtogetherirt.com · education & coaching, not therapy
With Dr. Carol by telehealth · WA, ID, IL & IA residents
Why Couples Get Stuck
It's Not About the Dishes
The fight usually starts with something small. Money, the dishes, a tone of voice. But that's rarely what it's really about. Underneath, a lot of couples are caught in the same old loop: one partner reaches out, the other pulls back, and it happens faster than either of you can think your way out of it.
If that sounds familiar, you're not alone, and it doesn't mean something is wrong with either of you. The loop comes from attachment, the same wiring that shapes how we bond with the people closest to us. It's not a character flaw. Once you understand it, instead of just managing the arguments, change has a much better chance of sticking.
Finally we got to the core of our devastating cycle, and I have hope!
Why Most Couples Start With the Healing Together Coaching Program
Start today, from anywhere
It's online and open to people in any state, so you can begin from home whenever you're ready.
One partner can begin alone
You can start on your own, and your partner can join when they're ready.
Learn at your own pace
Learn the same attachment principles Dr. Carol uses in her work, in a format you can take at your own speed.
An easy first step
A low-pressure way to begin before deciding whether weekly therapy is right for you.
Healing Together · education & coaching, not therapy
Two Ways to Work With Dr. Carol
These are two different things. Please read both before choosing.
Recommended starting point
Healing Together Coaching Program
An online education and coaching program created by Dr. Carol Conrad and Alissa Wakefield. It's built on their "Between and Within" approach: Dr. Carol guides the work between partners, and Alissa guides the healing within each person. Available wherever you live. Start from home, and your partner can join when they're ready.
Education & coaching. Not psychotherapy, and not a substitute for therapy.
What you'll see next
The Healing Together site opens with a short 5-minute welcome video. Watch it whenever you like. Nobody's going to rush you into signing up.
Prefer to start gently? Watch the free 30-minute masterclass (no sign-up required).
Licensed & clinical
Therapy with Dr. Carol
Private, licensed couples therapy by telehealth, for residents of Washington, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa only. After you reach out, our office follows up to talk next steps and schedule a brief 20-minute intake conversation to see if it's a good fit on both sides. From there, scheduling and billing are handled directly with our office.
Licensed therapy for Washington, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa residents only.
Inquire About TherapyResearch on EFT Couples Therapy
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is the clinical model Dr. Carol's work is built on.
With EFT
Couples go from distress to resolution with EFT.
Show long-lasting improvement, even years after therapy.
With Traditional Couples Therapy
Less than one-third of couples go from distress to resolution.
Show improvement, though gains tend to drop off after 6 months.
These are outcomes from couples therapy research, not results of the Healing Together program.
Meet Dr. Carol Ann Conrad, EdD

Dr. Conrad is a licensed clinical psychologist and a certified Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) therapist and supervisor, with nearly three decades of clinical experience. She's the founder of the Couple & Family Institute and is licensed to provide therapy by telehealth to residents of Washington, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa. Many of her clients live in the Tri-Cities area (Kennewick, Pasco and Richland), and she meets with every client online.
This work is personal for her. After her own marriage moved from deep distress to real connection, she dedicated her career to helping other couples find that same shift.
Dr. Carol Ann Conrad, EdD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist · Certified EFT Therapist & Supervisor
Since 2008
Certified in Dr. Sue Johnson's Emotionally Focused Therapy
Supervisor
Certified to train and supervise other EFT therapists
Founded 2014
Started the Couple & Family Institute to teach this model
My wife and I have been married 50 years, and still had some huge breakthroughs in understanding and being able to work on the emotions that are the underlying reasons for our fights.
What Change Can Look Like
Every couple is different. Still, couples who fully engage in Dr. Carol's attachment-based approach often describe shifts like these:
Naming the cycle together
The fight stops being "you versus me" and starts to feel like "us versus the cycle." Once you can name it, you can start stepping out of it together.
Feeling safe to be honest
Under the anger or the silence there's usually something softer, like hurt or fear. When it feels safe to say that out loud, partners often respond to each other differently.
Understanding where it started
A lot of today's reactions come from old wounds. Making sense of them makes it easier to be gentle with yourself, and with your partner.
Turning toward each other again
Many couples find their way back to a closeness they thought they'd lost. Some build a connection they never really had before.
Read real examples in Dr. Carol's case studies (names and details changed), like Ted and Betty’s story.
What Couples Are Saying
From Dr. Carol's Coaching Program, Hold Me Tight® workshops and practice. “HMT” refers to the Hold Me Tight® workshop.
When Coaching Isn't the Right Fit
Healing Together is for relationships that are ready for this kind of work, whether you start together or one of you goes first. It isn't the right place to start if:
- Your relationship is in crisis
- There is domestic violence
- There is active addiction
- There is an active affair
If any of this is true for you, please reach out for therapy (if you're in Washington, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa) or another licensed professional in your area.
Common Questions
What's the difference between coaching and therapy?
Healing Together is education and coaching. It teaches the same attachment-based ideas Dr. Carol uses in her clinical work, in a coaching format. It isn't psychotherapy, there's no diagnosis or treatment plan, and it isn't a substitute for therapy. Therapy with Dr. Carol is a licensed clinical service, available only to residents of Washington, Idaho, Illinois, and Iowa.
Which states is Dr. Carol licensed in?
Dr. Carol is licensed to provide therapy in Washington, Idaho, Illinois, and Iowa. If you live outside those states, Healing Together is available to you wherever you live.
Can I start before my partner is ready?
Yes. You can begin on your own, and your partner can join whenever they're ready. A relationship is a system, so when one partner starts changing their part of the pattern, the other usually notices. Sometimes seeing you change is what helps your partner feel ready to join.
What if I'm not in Washington, Idaho, Illinois, or Iowa?
You're welcome to explore Healing Together, which is available wherever you live. For therapy specifically, we'd recommend looking for a licensed therapist based in your own state.
In Couples’ Own Words
From clients of Dr. Carol’s Coaching Program, in their own words.
“This program gave us some tools/language to use to help us heal our relationship. It was a safe space for my spouse to open up and continue our journey into our emotions and our ‘why’.”
“We were able to recognize the huge impact connection to our spouse has on our well-being. It motivates me to increase my commitment to connect with my wife. To look inside each other and share what we find.”
“I would love everyone I know to come and experience this workshop with Dr. Conrad!”
“It was great to gain the tools and hear and address emotions and feelings without being the one to engage it”
“We feel we have gotten the key to unlock our long-term mis-communication”
“This program really opened my eyes to what the core of the problems were and how to identify the issue and work it out”
“We’ve been married 10.5 years and came to this program at the end of our rope. We’re feeling connected and renewed in a long time! We are hopeful!!”
“This program helped us to reconnect and finally have real conversations that have helped us to really heal.”
“We discovered raw moments from the past, some greater than 20 years old, that have been burrowed deep under the many sediment layers of life and yet remain powerful influences in our relationship.”
“We have been seeing a counselor for over 18 months and while much progress has been made through our weekly visits, it was hard to see the whole picture. The workshop gave us the entire roadmap to our relationship issues and has made a huge difference!”
“My wife and I have been married 50 years, and still had some huge breakthroughs in understanding and being able to work on the emotions that are the underlying reasons for our fights.”
“If you are willing to be open, this program will change your relationship for the better!”
“Finally we got to the core of our devastating cycle, and I have hope!”
“The workshop really made it easier to have the tough conversations because it was an exercise. The videos really showed how what we are going through is really normal.”
“I wish my husband and I took this workshop when we were newlyweds!”
“This program was very helpful in learning how to communicate honestly and openly. Honesty and softness in communicating will be helpful for us!”
“Regardless if a couple has been married for 35 years or just 3 months, this program opens avenues for healthy communication!”
“This program opened up the reality of emotions. I realized the importance of emotion as the music in the background of our dance, I thoroughly appreciated the empathetic concern and quality of connection I felt with my boyfriend that the workshop encouraged.”
“If someone were to attend this program I would say–Hang in there, this is vulnerable, sometimes terrifying work–and you are okay. Going through it is the path to an awesome, beautiful place.”
“I am confident this is the beginning of a life-changing experience after this program for us as a couple and as individuals.”
“In order to fix a problem, you have to understand the problem. This program helps you identify and understand the problems so you can fix them!”
“This program was extremely helpful, and at times painful. We were able to take a lot of content home with us, and we will continue to process and work through it.”
“I have more tools from this program to address issues, which makes me more hopeful.”
“My husband and I knew we had a negative cycle we would often fall into. But we lacked the tools and knowledge to change it. This program has given us hope and empowerment with positive models to follow. I feel like we are finally discovering the underlying issues and coming together.”
“I think this program was an amazing source of tools to help with the broken down line of communication in our marriage.”
“I feel like so many people I know could benefit from this program. Connection is so important and Dr. Conrad taught us how to work out fears and raw spots to get to connection.”
“This program is helpful whether you’ve been married for months or many years. If you are on the rocks or looking to enhance your connection and bond, I can’t recommend this program enough!”
“This isn’t just for one to learn to live with their partner, it’s for couples to learn to be one and set the goal to achieve connection together!”
“I would encourage others to attend this program even though it is a couple’s workshop you really get in touch with your own personal feelings and needs. That in turn makes your relationship strong. It brings purpose to arguments and conversations rather than wasting time and getting no resolution.”
“Anytime you put effort and energy into your marriage it is beneficial, but when you are able to truly understand how your emotions speak to you and what you actually need, you’re able to find healthy communication. This program helped us find healthier ways to communicate by understanding in a deeper context.”
“This program helped me identify things to work on in our ongoing couples therapy. It also helped me see success which gives me hope.”
“This program made me realize that I need to be more supportive and emotionally involved in our relationship!”
“I think for me as a man, we tend to act tough–but with all those layers and layers of denial, the truth is we do need love, understanding, and to be heard about our fear and our emotions. I would encourage all couples to try this program, it made a difference!”
“This program gave us a place to grow from and be more aware of our negative cycle and tools to stop it. It was helpful to identify the signals we send each other.”
“I have realized that couple relationships are much more complex than I would have imagined! I have a long ways to go and I’m okay with that–thank you for an excellent program to help me!”
“This program helped me realize and acknowledge my primal driving destructive loop that I continuously loop through with every woman in my life!”
“This program provided us an opportunity to talk about really important issues that we probably wouldn’t have discussed on our own! It provided us some tools to work through problems in our relationship.”
“This was the best thing we could have done for our relationship. I wish we had done it years ago. It is a MUST for couples!”
Where Would You Like to Start?
We usually suggest starting with Healing Together. If you live in Washington, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa and would rather talk about therapy, the office would be glad to hear from you.
Education & coaching · available anywhere
Or watch the free 30-minute masterclassLicensed therapy · WA, ID, IL & IA only
