Tired of the Same Fight, Over and Over?
One of you pushes. One of you pulls away. Some days you feel more like roommates than partners, and talking it through hasn't fixed it.
From Dr. Carol Ann Conrad, EdD, licensed psychologist and certified EFT therapist and supervisor.
2 Methods, 1 Goal
Opens healingtogetherirt.com · education & coaching, not therapy
With Dr. Carol by telehealth · WA, ID, IL & IA residents
Why Couples Get Stuck
It's Not About the Dishes
The fight usually starts with something small. Money, the dishes, a tone of voice. But that's rarely what it's really about. Underneath, a lot of couples are caught in the same old loop: one partner reaches out, the other pulls back, and it happens faster than either of you can think your way out of it.
If that sounds familiar, you're not alone, and it doesn't mean something is wrong with either of you. The loop comes from attachment, the same wiring that shapes how we bond with the people closest to us. It's not a character flaw. Once you understand it, instead of just managing the arguments, change has a much better chance of sticking.
Why Most Couples Start With the Healing Together Coaching Program
Start today, from anywhere
It's online and open to people in any state, so you can begin from home whenever you're ready.
One partner can begin alone
You can start on your own, and your partner can join when they're ready.
Learn at your own pace
Learn the same attachment principles Dr. Carol uses in her work, in a format you can take at your own speed.
An easy first step
A low-pressure way to begin before deciding whether weekly therapy is right for you.
Healing Together · education & coaching, not therapy
Two Ways to Work With Dr. Carol
These are two different things. Please read both before choosing.
Recommended starting point
Healing Together Coaching Program
An online education and coaching program created by Dr. Carol Conrad and Alissa Wakefield. It's built on their "Between and Within" approach: Dr. Carol guides the work between partners, and Alissa guides the healing within each person. Available wherever you live. Start from home, and your partner can join when they're ready.
Education & coaching. Not psychotherapy, and not a substitute for therapy.
What you'll see next
The Healing Together site opens with a short 5-minute welcome video. Watch it whenever you like. Nobody's going to rush you into signing up.
Prefer to start gently? Watch the free 30-minute masterclass (no sign-up required).
Licensed & clinical
Therapy with Dr. Carol
Private, licensed couples therapy by telehealth, for residents of Washington, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa only. After you reach out, our office follows up to talk next steps and schedule a brief 20-minute intake conversation to see if it's a good fit on both sides. From there, scheduling and billing are handled directly with our office.
Licensed therapy for Washington, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa residents only.
Inquire About TherapyResearch on EFT Couples Therapy
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is the clinical model Dr. Carol's work is built on.
With EFT
Couples go from distress to resolution with EFT.
Show long-lasting improvement, even years after therapy.
With Traditional Couples Therapy
Less than one-third of couples go from distress to resolution.
Show improvement, though gains tend to drop off after 6 months.
These are outcomes from couples therapy research, not results of the Healing Together program.
Meet Dr. Carol Ann Conrad, EdD
Dr. Conrad is a licensed clinical psychologist and a certified Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) therapist and supervisor, with nearly three decades of clinical experience. She's the founder of the Couple & Family Institute and is licensed to provide therapy by telehealth to residents of Washington, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa. Many of her clients live in the Tri-Cities area (Kennewick, Pasco and Richland), and she meets with every client online.
This work is personal for her. After her own marriage moved from deep distress to real connection, she dedicated her career to helping other couples find that same shift.
Dr. Carol Ann Conrad, EdD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist · Certified EFT Therapist & Supervisor
Since 2008
Certified in Dr. Sue Johnson's Emotionally Focused Therapy
Supervisor
Certified to train and supervise other EFT therapists
Founded 2014
Started the Couple & Family Institute to teach this model
What Change Can Look Like
Every couple is different. Still, couples who fully engage in Dr. Carol's attachment-based approach often describe shifts like these:
Naming the cycle together
The fight stops being "you versus me" and starts to feel like "us versus the cycle." Once you can name it, you can start stepping out of it together.
Feeling safe to be honest
Under the anger or the silence there's usually something softer, like hurt or fear. When it feels safe to say that out loud, partners often respond to each other differently.
Understanding where it started
A lot of today's reactions come from old wounds. Making sense of them makes it easier to be gentle with yourself, and with your partner.
Turning toward each other again
Many couples find their way back to a closeness they thought they'd lost. Some build a connection they never really had before.
Read real examples in Dr. Carol's case studies (names and details changed), like Ted and Betty’s story.
What Couples Are Saying
From Dr. Carol's Hold Me Tight® workshops and practice. “HMT” refers to the Hold Me Tight® workshop.
When Coaching Isn't the Right Fit
Healing Together is for relationships that are ready for this kind of work, whether you start together or one of you goes first. It isn't the right place to start if:
- Your relationship is in crisis
- There is domestic violence
- There is active addiction
- There is an active affair
If any of this is true for you, please reach out for therapy (if you're in Washington, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa) or another licensed professional in your area.
Common Questions
What's the difference between coaching and therapy?
Healing Together is education and coaching. It teaches the same attachment-based ideas Dr. Carol uses in her clinical work, in a coaching format. It isn't psychotherapy, there's no diagnosis or treatment plan, and it isn't a substitute for therapy. Therapy with Dr. Carol is a licensed clinical service, available only to residents of Washington, Idaho, Illinois, and Iowa.
Which states is Dr. Carol licensed in?
Dr. Carol is licensed to provide therapy in Washington, Idaho, Illinois, and Iowa. If you live outside those states, Healing Together is available to you wherever you live.
Can I start before my partner is ready?
Yes. You can begin on your own, and your partner can join whenever they're ready. A relationship is a system, so when one partner starts changing their part of the pattern, the other usually notices. Sometimes seeing you change is what helps your partner feel ready to join.
What if I'm not in Washington, Idaho, Illinois, or Iowa?
You're welcome to explore Healing Together, which is available wherever you live. For therapy specifically, we'd recommend looking for a licensed therapist based in your own state.
Where Would You Like to Start?
We usually suggest starting with Healing Together. If you live in Washington, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa and would rather talk about therapy, the office would be glad to hear from you.
Education & coaching · available anywhere
Or watch the free 30-minute masterclassLicensed therapy · WA, ID, IL & IA only